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You would think at 20 weeks pregnant I wouldn’t be worries and would be breezing through this pregnancy. Well, that’s not the case! I am still concerned, although feel better every time I feel movement. 

This pregnancy is so much harder than Joshua’s one. I’m in more pain with my back, hips, pelvis etc but I know it will be worth it. And to top it all off I’ve now got a middle ear infection. So much pain! 

However, I know in the end it will be worth it – especially when I hold our daughter in my arms! So delighted it’s a girl! Justyn will come round to the idea I’m sure. One of each is amazing and such a gift from God. 

Thank you God for this miracle child and for her safety.

Just after I posted the last post I was flicking through my photos and was reminded of God’s promise to me on Tuesday evening when there was a double rainbow right outside my window. God is in control, this baby is his, it’s his timing and I’m trusting him for his protection over him or her and my marriage and little boy. ?

I’ve not been in a car crash for many years, but driving home from seeing friends this evening a lad hit my car as I was slowing down and indicating to turn into my road. The force of his impact carried me over the plastic boulder and the momentum took me down the road until I stopped. I am so thankful that I didn’t hit another car and there was no immediate impact to my stomach and the baby. Obviously I’m worried about the baby and contacted 111 for advice but they seemed to think there was no need to send me to A&E or an out of hours doctor – which reassured me a bit. Although suggested I contact my doctors in the morning and phone the maternity helpline to get their advice. 

My prayer is for the protection of the baby and for peace to reign over me. My husband isn’t being overly supportive, although he thinks he is. When I suggested I’d try and get a scan tomorrow he didn’t se the point of one as there was nothing that could be done. But it will reassure me and put my mind at ease. I just want a hug and to be reassured by him but he’s unable to do that. He doesn’t know how to do that but when I look at his relationship with his parents and how they deal with things I can understand how and why he behaves like this, even though I wish he behaved differently. I don’t want to be a single mum so I feel like I need to stay with him even though emotionally he’s unable to support me. It’s a trysting a God thing. 

I thought once I got to 12 weeks pregnant I’d feel able to write more without feeling nervous. But that isn’t the case! I know God is in control of the baby and I believe that he or she go to full term and be delivered healthy. But there is still a hint of nerves. I didn’t expect that but trusting for peace. 

After my first week being full time, it was amazing to come home to a cup of tea made little J. It’s exhausting juggling work and being a mummy, but he makes it all worth it. 

At the end of a long, stressful week, I am exhausted – especially being in the first trimester of my 7th pregnancy. Since the scan on Wednesday that showed a heartbeat I have continued to have some bleeding and wish it would stop. It’s so disconcerting every time I see it. I also have a stress like pain in my stomach which I hate feeling. I have to trust God with it as I believe that I won’t miscarry this time and that this will be a healthy and positive pregnancy. 

It’s exhausting having a toddler to run around after and it’s hard to not put any stress on him. I know when I’m stressed he picks up on it and starts whinging and crying and wanting mummy continuously. But it’s a joy to be a mummy to the little man. 

I found out today that a colleague of mine lost her baby at full term. I was devastated for her loss, even though she hadn’t wanted the baby initially she doesn’t deserve to go through this. I remember God told me that someone I know was going to have a stillborn baby but I didn’t know who. This thought came back to me today when I found out – it was awful remembering this and then thinking about what she and the family must be going through. Since finding out, I’ve just been praying for her and her family and I will continue to do so. 

This is my first ever blog post and I’m not expecting anyone to read it, it’s just my obedience to a word from God. It scares me writing down my thoughts and feelings to be available on the web for anyone to read but I trust God with what is written and for those who do read it. 

It is my hope somewhere along this journey that I will be able to help those who have suffered miscarriages like me and are bringing up their rainbow baby (babies).