At the end of a long, stressful week, I am exhausted – especially being in the first trimester of my 7th pregnancy. Since the scan on Wednesday that showed a heartbeat I have continued to have some bleeding and wish it would stop. It’s so disconcerting every time I see it. I also have a stress like pain in my stomach which I hate feeling. I have to trust God with it as I believe that I won’t miscarry this time and that this will be a healthy and positive pregnancy.
It’s exhausting having a toddler to run around after and it’s hard to not put any stress on him. I know when I’m stressed he picks up on it and starts whinging and crying and wanting mummy continuously. But it’s a joy to be a mummy to the little man.
I found out today that a colleague of mine lost her baby at full term. I was devastated for her loss, even though she hadn’t wanted the baby initially she doesn’t deserve to go through this. I remember God told me that someone I know was going to have a stillborn baby but I didn’t know who. This thought came back to me today when I found out – it was awful remembering this and then thinking about what she and the family must be going through. Since finding out, I’ve just been praying for her and her family and I will continue to do so.
This is my first ever blog post and I’m not expecting anyone to read it, it’s just my obedience to a word from God. It scares me writing down my thoughts and feelings to be available on the web for anyone to read but I trust God with what is written and for those who do read it.
It is my hope somewhere along this journey that I will be able to help those who have suffered miscarriages like me and are bringing up their rainbow baby (babies).